tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10189578101345172572012-01-18T11:32:12.640-07:00The official blog of Banco de Puerco n.a. New York City, USA, where the f*ck else?Ron at CMnoreply@blogger.comBlogger101100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1018957810134517257.post-53539639658782713932012-01-18T11:32:00.002-07:002012-01-18T11:32:12.651-07:00

Ron at CMnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1018957810134517257.post-63371429085082339292009-12-14T17:58:00.009-07:002010-02-22T08:16:09.585-07:00

Don't worry. The rumors you've heard about us not having the money to make Vik's Bailout Payback Plan work are a bunch of horsesh*t.Vik came up with a brand new marketing campaign for our New Economy Card that should get the ball rolling.And, just to make you feel better, Vik is going to give every single one of the employees we lay off this holiday season (to pay for bonuses and bailout payback,

Ron at CMnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1018957810134517257.post-15459806139686507082009-12-14T15:25:00.010-07:002009-12-14T17:57:20.141-07:00

After shouting "Nobody's got a right to tell me I can't have a f*cking bonus", Banco de Puerco Chairman and CEO Vik Torino announced plans to return over $20 billion in bailout money to the U.S. Treasury."I've got a boat payment coming due," Torino told The Journal this morning. "And these damned government guys won't let me collect my bonuses until after this crap is paid back. Anybody who

Ron at CMnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1018957810134517257.post-65761550822857914872009-10-10T12:55:00.005-06:002009-12-14T18:14:07.314-07:00

Credit lines tapped out?Banco de Puerco is excited to announce the BdP NewEconomy Card, a credit card designed for the new economic world we live in!Don't worry about maxing out! We don't assign limits for the NewEconomy Card. Buy whatever the hell you want, when you want it.Don't worry about payments! We have people who will visit you, if necessary, and provide friendly reminders.Don't worry

Ron at CMnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1018957810134517257.post-87639312414831388852009-05-03T11:05:00.003-06:002009-05-03T11:13:08.669-06:00

New York. Banco de Puerco will register vehement opposition to Colorado Senator Dooley Neall's bill to equate fiscal abuse to treason. We ask that all of our colleagues in the banking and financial industries do the same to ensure that a couple of minor misplacements of bailout funds don't become some kind of national crime.Our Chairman and CEO, Vik Torino, speaking today at a financial luncheon

Ron at CMnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1018957810134517257.post-86806485739184643502009-05-01T13:06:00.005-06:002009-08-29T08:33:00.915-06:00

Vik Torino, Chairman and CEO of Banco De Puerco, lashed out this morning at the pending legislation to amend the Credit Card Holder's Bill of Rights to limit interest charges to 18%."Eighteen percent!" Torino screamed at reporters this morning. "What the hell are we all supposed to live on here? Have you ever tried paying the f**cking property taxes on sixteen houses?"Thinking the podium

Ron at CMnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1018957810134517257.post-92082125123682380582009-03-23T09:16:00.000-06:002009-03-23T09:37:55.671-06:00

Every since we took that little piece of the action from the Feds--why the hell not, everyone else is?--we've been getting hammered in the press (who are supposed to be the freak on OUR side). Since we can't get THEM to tell our version of the story Chairman Vik asked us to set this up to handle the communication ourselves.Come here for the real truth (or at least OUR truth) on the banking and

Ron at CMnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1018957810134517257.post-19390109601174549792009-01-28T20:02:00.002-07:002009-08-29T08:32:30.207-06:00

Less than half an hour after the U.S. Government (along with a couple of Mounties to cover the "jurisdictional issues") repo men picked up the new Banco de Puerco executive jet, Fluffy Bergstrom, the 19 year-old "close associate" of Chairman Vik left him in the chill Winnipeg air."I'm going back to my tattoo parlor in Venice Beach. Back where I can have some real fun!"A seemingly despondent Vik

Ron at CMnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1018957810134517257.post-931234553951053762009-01-28T06:48:00.001-07:002009-03-23T09:37:03.487-06:00

Our chairman and CEO, Vik, BlackBerried us from his 16,000 s.f. chateau (the one he calls Number 12) in Winnepeg last night. He wanted to respond to questions about the new jet.Question 1, from somebody at the Times (traitor): How can you justify spending taxpayer dollars on a corporate jet?Vik: "You gotta be kidding me! I'm a taxpayer, some of the time anyway, you wouldn't believe the sales tax

Ron at CMnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1018957810134517257.post-17234445917400197422009-01-27T23:48:00.002-07:002009-08-29T09:12:51.563-06:00

Our chairman, Vik, got a heck of a surprise this morning. The French executive jet he ordered a couple of years ago showed up this morning on our private air strip in Long Island. (Don't tell Cessna or Raytheon that our new jet is French.)50 large (thats $50 million to those of you in flyover country). Had to be cash on delivery, our credit sucks since last October. Good thing we've got that 75

Ron at CMnoreply@blogger.com0