Vik Makes New Credit Card Work for Everyone

Don't worry. The rumors you've heard about us not having the money to make Vik's Bailout Payback Plan work are a bunch of horsesh*t.

Vik came up with a brand new marketing campaign for our New Economy Card that should get the ball rolling.

And, just to make you feel better, Vik is going to give every single one of the employees we lay off this holiday season (to pay for bonuses and bailout payback, of course) will get their on special edition New Economy Card with a credit limit based on their last full year with BdP.

Good ole Vik, generous hearted as he is, is also going to give them a special interest rate for the first year they have the card. He's going to knock a full POINT FIVE PERCENT of the interest we charge everybody else.

What can you possibly call that besides Big Hearted?

Help the people the government forced us to let go (with their stupid bonus limitations, and expectations that banks actually PAY BACK the bailout money) by getting YOUR New Economy Card TODAY!

The NewEconomy Card!

Credit lines tapped out?

Banco de Puerco is excited to announce the BdP NewEconomy Card, a credit card designed for the new economic world we live in!

Don't worry about maxing out! We don't assign limits for the NewEconomy Card. Buy whatever the hell you want, when you want it.

Don't worry about payments! We have people who will visit you, if necessary, and provide friendly reminders.

Don't worry about us! (and our hard-earned bonuses) The economy-neutral APR on the NewEconomy Card will assure that we'll make money no matter what happens. If we don't get it from you, we'll get it from your kids, your grandkids, your freakin' cat Eloise. Whatever it takes.

Take a peak at part of our NewEconomy Card ad campaign!

Vik Angry About New Credit Card Legislation

Vik Torino, Chairman and CEO of Banco De Puerco, lashed out this morning at the pending legislation to amend the Credit Card Holder's Bill of Rights to limit interest charges to 18%.

"Eighteen percent!" Torino screamed at reporters this morning. "What the hell are we all supposed to live on here? Have you ever tried paying the f**cking property taxes on sixteen houses?"

Thinking the podium microphone was off, Torino turned to one of his bevy of attorneys and muttered, "What the hell good does it do us to buy these f**king Congressmen any more? They don't do a f**king thing for us!"

Realizing the error, he turned to the reporter's gallery and said, "Excuse me. I've got to use the head. This sh*t is making me want to puke."