Vik Responds to Detractors

Our chairman and CEO, Vik, BlackBerried us from his 16,000 s.f. chateau (the one he calls Number 12) in Winnepeg last night. He wanted to respond to questions about the new jet.

Question 1, from somebody at the Times (traitor): How can you justify spending taxpayer dollars on a corporate jet?
Vik: "You gotta be kidding me! I'm a taxpayer, some of the time anyway, you wouldn't believe the sales tax I pay on freakin' shoes every year. Besides, they gave the money to me that makes it mine! To do whatever I want with. Screw'em if they don't like it. What are they gonna do? Regulate me?"

Question 2, from a reporter somewhere in freakin' Colorado (as if that matters): How can you spend American tax dollars on a French jet?
Vik: "The same reason I don't drive a car made in Detroit. You know where American jets are made? Kansas! Kansas is freakin' flyover country's flyover country. French, that's cool. French wine, French women. Forget about French song, though. I'm not going there."

Vik Cranks Up His New Jet

Our chairman, Vik, got a heck of a surprise this morning. The French executive jet he ordered a couple of years ago showed up this morning on our private air strip in Long Island. (Don't tell Cessna or Raytheon that our new jet is French.)

50 large (thats $50 million to those of you in flyover country). Had to be cash on delivery, our credit sucks since last October. Good thing we've got that 75 jumbo ($75 billion to the hicks) from the nice guys down in D.C.

Boy, did that $1.77 mil we spent on lobbyists last quarter pay off or what?

Anyway, we thought for about a millisecond on cancelling the deal but we would have had to pay a penalty. We sure wouldn't want a couple mil of taxpayer money to go for nothing now, would we?

After the jet showed up, Vik took the rest of the day off. He flew up to Winnepeg where his girlfriend can drink at 18.

Come back tomorrow. He might have brought us a good story.

BTW (that's by the way to you flyover hicks) Steve Forbes can shove it for telling all of America that we don't have a clue on the Early Show this morning.