Friday, April 13, 2012

Vik is OUT! Announces Deriviatives 2.0

We're excited to announce, close to tax day, that our beloved Chairman and CEO Vik Torino is no longer a guest of the Federal Department of Corrections! It's been a long time since I (your SpokesBabe) have had much to do.

Vic has obviously been doing a lot of thinking while he was on, um, hiatus, since he came back with a 1,250 page "Recovery Manifesto" titled Derivatives 2.0 - Fountains of Fees! I'm obviously not going to include the whole thing, bug I thought you might like some of the juicier parts.

From page 26 - "The f*****g Feds don't f*****g understand that we have to eat too, just like everybody else... well, hopefully our f*****g food is a lot better than everybody else's but you get my drift."

From page 279 - "So I figured we'll get around all of that b******t by creating a whole new f*****g batch of f*****g fees. Fees for everything, fees on top of fees, fees for processing fees, fees for talking about fees. You get my drift."

From page 1073 - "Yeah, the c*********g Feds tell us that we have to communicate all of these new fees and give people a way to opt out of them. Well here at BdP, I'll tell you how we OPT F*****G OUT. You have to M***********G DIE!. We'll put it in print so small that the f*****g Hubble can't see it and require three separate and distinct steps to opt out of anything. (See details on pages 1181-1209 of Appendix Q)

Well, it's obvious that Vik, in addition to having a lot of thinking time, learned some very colorful (colourful to all of you BwG stockholders) language from his new convict friends (many of whom have BdP executive jobs starting next Monday.)

SeeYa and CYA!
SpokesBabe





No comments:

Post a Comment